Being (Dis)Respected at Work

I don’t know if I was more oblivious and/or had more patience when I was younger, but I swear that I have somehow made it through my whole life without feeling like I was being blatantly disrespected at work. Well, unfortunately that streak has ended. There’s someone at my current job who has a really difficult personality to work with (basically wants to micromanage everything and gets mad when everyone can’t read his mind), and as annoying as that can be, I’ve tried to just accept it because I am NOT someone who likes to rock boats. Let’s call him Bob (his name is not actually Bob).

But earlier this week, I got a chiding from Bob’s lackey for responding to an email. By the way, the main subject matter of this email was price elasticity, and as the only person at my organization with a PhD in ECONOMICS I feel like price elasticity is pretty solidly in my lane.

So, I went to my boss and told her about the situation. (According to Bob’s messenger I am on “strike 2,” so I wanted to feel out whether my boss was upset about my offending email or not.) I also told her that I felt disrespected, and she said she was going to have a talk with Bob.

Well, guess what his reaction was when she talked to him about this? He said something like, “Oh, I thought I could treat Econ-Mom like a more senior person and not need to put a positive framing around everything.”

Um….So, is this his way of implying that I am hysterical? I am angry but 100% unsurprised that he turned it around and made it my fault. It’s frustrating because disrespect is something that you know when you see it, but when it’s not really extreme it’s hard to prove. And it’s even harder to prove that it’s sexist, but I really do get the vibe that Bob is much more deferential to men, which makes the whole thing extra annoying.

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